There are some phrases that are driving me batshit crazy. Used, abused, and flat out misused phrases, sayings, and crutches that I hear more and more are driving me up the wall. So, to get back on this blogging horse, I give you my Top Five Most Hated Phrases.
5. “You Talk About A Guy...”
Ok, this one is a bit specialized. Every single time I hear Jack Ham as an analyst for Penn State games on the radio, I swear to God he always starts his sentences with, “You talk about a guy...”
“Great run by Evan Royster, Jack.”
“You talk about a guy who can run!”
“Good throw by Rob Bolden.”
“You talk about a guy who’s coming in as a freshman...”
“What a hit by Ollie Ogbu! Fourth down!”
“You talk about a guy with hits, Peter Frampton had quite a few of them in the seventies.”
“Jack, meet my husband, Martin.”
“You talk about a guy who brings it in the bedroom night after night...”
You could make the Jack Ham drinking game, and every time he throws out that phrase, you’d be drunk by the beginning of the second quarter. Jack, please fucking stop and find a new crutch. Otherwise, you’re a fantastic announcer.
4. “Having Said That”/“That Being Said”
You can be more economical and just say “but...” or “on the other hand”, but this has become another go to phrase, outed in a very good episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Both phrases are primarily used when you just said something really shitty about someone or something. Having said that, it’s not quite the Get Out of Jail Free Card that’s number two on this list.
3. “At the End of the Day...”
Now you’re just being dramatic. You know what happens at the end of the day? It’s tomorrow! Technically, instead of saying, “At the end of the day, we’re all in it together,” you should say, “Tomorrow, we’re all in it together!” Don’t bother me with your over the top bullshit. Make your point without having to tell me how to end my day. At the end of the day, go fuck yourself.
2. “Just Sayin’...”
“You know what? I never liked you. Not for one bit. I don’t like your team, I don’t like your city. I don’t like you. Just sayin’.” “Just sayin’” is your way of putting a pretty little bow on the turd sandwich you just verbally handed to someone. I see this on facebook all the time. It’s the internet, and we all know people LOVE to argue on the internet. It isn’t a real face-to-face argument, so people get their internet beer muscles going and start spouting off this and that and hide behind their screens for protection. But now, “Just sayin’” is getting tagged at the end as a way to absolve yourself from being a complete dickbag and actually implying you were forced into saying what you think are factual statements. It’s as if you’re just passing along the news and taking zero accountability for said news.
Add “Just sayin’” to just about any awful remark you want, and by golly you have yourself a nice day and thank you for delivering the obvious to everyone involved.
1. It Is What It Is...
The biggest cop out phrase we got going today. I’ve heard from many people that people who use curse words a lot tend to have a small vocabulary. I love to curse. It feels great sometimes to drop a consonant-filled f-bomb in a fit of anger. I get it. And I know people who curse way too much, way too casually, fitting the lack-of-vocabulary theory. But this phrase... you really have nothing to say when you sum up an argument or point of view with this doozy. I’ve even heard and seen people use this as a declarative sentence! Next time someone say to you, in any setting, “It is what it is”, ask them “Well what the fuck is it?” And when they say, “Groceries are getting more expensive,” tell them to say that in the first place instead of making you guess what the hell is on their mind. I understand it’s a nice little summation of what’s going on, but it sounds stupid and makes you stupid for saying it.
You talk about a guy for having said that, that being said, at the end of the day, it is what it is.
Just sayin’.
(Thank you for allowing me to channel my inner Carlin)
